How to Make Homemade Laundry Detergent

I'm notoriously a tightwad thrifty, so when my husband was in grad school [for the second time] and I heard my friends talking about making their own laundry detergent, I was all in. I researched all my options and then researched all the recipes on the internet until I finally hit on one that worked for me. Remember my priorities pretty much stopped at saving money! You may want to make more adjustments or do further research if your priority is battling allergies or skin sensitivities or something else.

I prefer liquid detergent - I worry about powdered versions caking and building up and generally having trouble dissolving (maybe my fears are unfounded - just explaining my choice). I now have a high-efficiency washer, for which this detergent is perfect since it is low-sudsing. It also worked great in my regular old washing machine when I first started. (Don't get me started on the washing machine discussion!)

The Cast of Characters:

1. A bar of soap 

2. Borax

3. Washing Soda

4. Glycerin [inexplicably not pictured]

And now for a few words on each: (Of course I have more to say about each individual ingredient!)
1 - Soap - traditional recipes call for the Fels Naptha bar of laundry lore, which is usually readily available wherever you buy laundry detergent. However, you can use any bar of soap that lists "sodium cocoate" as an ingredient and is not primarily glycerin-based. I love the Yardley soaps for the hint of scent, which leaves my laundry not smelling like plain ol' soap without being overwhelming.
2 - Borax - not to be confused with boric acid! I researched this extensively as well. Many recipes warn against the toxicity of borax. Boric acid, a different but related composition, is the dangerous one and we are not using it here. Yes, borax is toxic in large amounts, comparable to baking soda. Obviously you do not want to be consuming baking soda by the cupful. That said, it has about the same potency as baking soda and therefore you do not need to be afraid of handling it with your bare hands. Still keep the large box away from children.
3 - Washing Soda - some internet sources tell me you can make "washing soda" by... baking baking soda? I honestly don't know what exactly this is. I haven't tried making it out of baking soda. Just buy the big box and be done with it.
4 - Glycerin - I don't really know what this does but maybe keeps the consistency more viscous? I left it out accidentally once and didn't notice. Although in hindsight that batch may have been more paste-like...?

INSTRUCTIONS:

I usually make a small batch at a time and pour it into my reclaimed 196-oz detergent dispenser.

This recipe will make approximately 1 gallon.

1/4 bar of soap, grated

1/4 cup borax

1/4 cup washing soda

1/2 Tbsp. glycerin

3 quarts hot water

1 - Grate or finely chop the soap into the finest pieces possible. Taking your time on this will save you lots of time at the melting stage. I have been told that you can also put the bar of soap in the microwave, and it will fluff up into a light foam you can dump right into your pan, but the one time I tried this I think I just made a scorched mess!

2 - Put the grated soap into a large pot and pour in just enough water to cover it. Stir over low heat until all the soap is melted.

3 - Add hot water, borax, and washing soda. Stir over low heat until everything is evenly dissolved. Remove from heat and add glycerin.

4 - Allow to cool. If cooled completely, it will separate into a thick layer of gel with a layer of water below. I like to wait until it just starts to gel but not separate and then pour it into my detergent container. It will still separate, so SHAKE WELL before each use.

5 - Use 1/2 cup per full load.

How to Throw Together a Birthday Gift

Example Scenario:

{strictly hypothetical}

You live in a state where the summers are unbelievably hot and the winters are unbelievably Antarctica.

Basically you live indoors.

In January, your child is invited to a birthday party.

But here, clouds don't snow. They rain treacherous sheets of ice that cover the world in glass.

Slippery glass, which you don't like to drive your car on.

Especially with 4 kids in tow, on a Saturday morning, with the destination being a superstore.

But like a rookie mom, you forgot to pick up a birthday gift during the week.

So.

Insta-birthday-gift

[without a trip to the store!]

I'm sure you totally have these things on hand. I did. 

Don't we all keep stacks of random junk in our basement?

1. Wooden spoon

2. Unfinished child-size apron

3. Mason jar

1 - The spoon: Give the birthday party attendee a box of acrylic craft paint and teach her how to make dots with the end of a pen. Give her the wooden spoon. Watch her totally go rogue and turn the spoon into her personal creative art project. Shrug your shoulders and send her upstairs to dry it with a hair dryer. When she comes back, swipe a layer of polycrylic over the painted part. Done and done.

2 - The apron: I had grandiose ideas of sending each of Kate's friends home from her last birthday party with a handmade apron they could wear during our cupcake-decorating activity. Or something. Well, the mysterious stash of unfinished aprons I happened to have lying ON MY BEDROOM FLOOR [kicker: her birthday was in July] should tell you pretty much how well that went. Finish it up and string a ribbon through it. (And by that I mean give it to Kate and make her finish the sewing on her new machine and thread the ribbon through because her fingers are smaller and more nimble than mine.) If you are not like me and don't have extra aprons lying around, but you are like me in collecting miscellaneous fabric, you can probably whip this up in 15 min. It doesn't have to be fancy.

3 - The mason jar: Fill with a cute layered cookie mix, which are plentiful on Pinterest. The one I used is below. Start to design a cute label but remember that your printer bit the dust two weeks ago. Get distracted shopping for new printers online. Snap back to the task at hand (one of my New Year goals! Do this more quickly) and write out the baking instructions yourself.

Spray paint the lid a solid metallic color because the only lids you have came from spaghetti sauce jars and have writing on them. Realize there is no way that spray paint is going to dry in time. Give up and cover with scrap fabric instead.

VOILA! A cute little baking kit just ready for gifting that will make your 9-year-old recipient go, "Wow, that's interesting..."

No really, Brooklyn said her gift was very well received, and when her friend opened it she said, "Oh, I needed a new spoon!" HA! Gotta love the grace that momma has taught her!

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Raisin Cookies in a Jar:

Layer in a clean 1-qt jar:

1 cup rolled oats 

3/4 cup all-purpose flour 

1/2 teaspoon baking powder 

1/8 teaspoon baking soda 

1/2 cup packed brown sugar 

1/4 cup granulated sugar 

1/4 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice or ground cinnamon 

1/2 cup raisins

1/2 cup chocolate chips

[I guessed on the raisin and chocolate chip measurements. I just packed those raisins in there tightly and then put as many chocolate chips on top as I could fit!

Here are your instructions to include:

[If I ever get around to it I'll make a cute label to PRINT!]

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

Makes about 3 dozen cookies

 Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper or nonstick foil. In a large mixing bowl, stir together contents of jar with 1/3 cup softened butter, 2 eggs, and 1/2 teaspoon vanilla until well combined (dough will be soft). Drop by rounded teaspoons 2 inches apart on prepared cookie sheet. Bake in preheated oven for 9 to 11 minutes or until edges are brown. Cool on cookie sheet for 2 minutes. Transfer to wire racks and let cool.

How to Effectively Train for a Half Marathon

STEP 1: Stop eating these.

I lost you, didn't I?

Okay fine. Stop eating those until Valentine's Day.

At least that's the goal some of my friends set, and I foolishly jumped on board.

*sigh*

STEP 2: Seriously consider why you want to run a half marathon and what are your end goals.

Ask yourself: Is it worth giving up the World's Best Chocolate Chip Cookie?

{Flow Chart:}

YES                                                                       NO

↓                                                                           ↓

All right, you tough cookie!                                     Just eat the cookies then.

Proceed as follows....                                                     Life is short.

STEP 3: Breakfast tomorrow: [you're welcome]

2 eggs

A dollop of fat-free cottage cheese (yes, a "dollop" is a scientific culinary measurement)

Large fistful of spinach, shredded with kitchen shears

A sprinkling each of grated cheese and crumbled bacon

Salt & pepper to taste

Have your 2-year-old tow-headed personal chef whip up an omelet for you.

If you do not have a 2-year-old tow-headed personal chef, I'm very sorry... 

I do not know how you are going to run this half marathon.

STEP 4: I'm sorry but at some point, you are actually going to have to run...

Here's my plan!

(The red is what I changed or added or did instead).

Let's see if I make it to Saturday... 6 miles YIKES!

Chocolate chip cookies are starting to sound like a very agreeable alternative.

GOOD LUCK!!!

Envision cookies at the finish line...

Progress Report

Since last week's goal-setting, here is my accountability update. To recap, my goals:

***GOALS for the NEW YEAR***

1. Make my bed every day (we are one day into the new year and so far I am 0 for 1. Well I can only go up from here, right?!)
2. Organize my entire house (no seriously this is going to happen)
3. Finish what I start (no one said they couldn't be lofty goals...)
4. Train for a half marathon by myself in 12 weeks. (This one scares me. I've trained for and run a half marathon before, but certainly not by myself. My attention span is so short. I can scarcely run 3 miles alone without getting bored.) Wish me luck!!!

Progress Report:

1. I have made my bed for 5 consecutive days now. Didn't you hear? January 4th is the new January 1st.
2. Organizing - So a while ago (fine, 2.5 years) I read Marie Kondo's book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, and found it life-changing. This is a blog post all its own, but the short story: I went through my clothes using her methods and was amazed. Then I stopped there and we moved, so really all sense of order and control in my life ended. I recently reread her book with my book club and jumped back on the boat. This time my closet clean-out took about 15 minutes (not 3 days). I was stunned that, as promised, her paradigm shift actually does stick! I had very little to part with that didn't "spark joy" (and they were items that I could see were beginning to lose their shelf life in my esteem), and I had not accumulated anything new that I didn't love. Incredible. On to the rest of the house! (More updates on this later!)
3. I can think of at least an average of 3 occasions per day that I've consciously done this when my reflex was to "do it later." Improvement at least.
4. Half marathon training. Wow. By last spring, my running buddy and I were running 5 miles a day, and the first time we hit 5 miles it was by accident. I mean we were just talking and ran an extra lap without noticing. It was so easy I was not really nervous for my first "long" run, which was yesterday, and was only 5 miles. Oh my gosh, you guys. I thought I was going to die. I also ran a new route that ended up being hilly and had a stretch where I had to run on a lumpy grass hill covered by ankle-deep snow. It was 20 degrees (I had to wait til 2 pm for the temp to climb that high!) and there was a bitter wind threatening to tear my face off. It was not fun. I was tired. And I also walked a little. Upwards from here, right? I felt like this:

"Mom, can you get me off the floor?"

That is actually what he's saying to me here.

We did have a snow day this past week, which was ridiculous but also perfectly timed because that particular day was jammed packed with so many things that ended up being canceled! And I don't have a car this week. I'm getting a new transmission for my birthday. Yay. Also Brooklyn is sick for the 3rd time in a month, so that is one less day of school she is missing. I think they think she is never coming back.

It was probably 4 degrees, but we had to go sledding. I haven't been sledding in forever. But I wanted to be a "fun mom" for once, so I suited up and marched out that door! I grabbed a sled and plopped it down at the top of the hill beside the house, my two boys jumped in my lap, and we sailed down! All the way down! Both hills! Luckily I have huge feet, so my big sturdy boots acted as brakes just a foot before we crashed into a tree. Later I learned from my kids that you can actually steer the sled. They taught me how. They were actually sledding down only the first hill and then veering to the right into the upper backyard where they could coast to a comfortable stop. It's an art.

I also didn't know that they had trained the dog to pull the sled back up the hill for them. Genius! I hauled it up myself. Like a sucker.

The Macarons:

Consensus: super easy (only 4 ingredients!), time consuming (here Kate is sifting almond flour and powdered sugar. For like an hour), mostly yummy (light and crispy and maybe a little too sweet).

I'm pretty sure they are not supposed to look like this:

I'm also pretty sure I know where I went wrong. After beating the egg whites and adding the dry ingredients, you're supposed to fold actually kind of a lot. I didn't read that part carefully and just kind of freaked out when it turned all weird, so I just dolloped into a piping bag and went to work. I think if I had whipped them until they were smoother they would have turned out. Also I probably overbeat the egg whites. Anyway, these were lemon filled with lemon and raspberry buttercream. I thought they were pretty good, although I actually don't know what they're supposed to taste like. We used Martha Stewart's Basic Recipe for French Macarons.

Welp, that is 2017 so far in review. Let's see what this next week brings!

New Year

We kicked off the New Year tonight with food!

We bought a smoker last month, after receiving a notice from the city of Kansas City of our pending eviction, since we had lived here for more than a year without learning to smoke our own meat, and we were given 30 days to comply. (Okay not really, but it could happen.) Seriously though, #1 on my list for moving back to Kansas City was the barbecue. It's a weakness of mine. For Thanksgiving, we smoked a turkey. I was nervous so I also roasted a standard Thanksgiving turkey in the oven. Guess which turkey got eaten. 

Exactly.

So Travis smoked a side of pork, I whipped up some candied acorn squash and dinner rolls, and the girls and I had big plans to make French macarons for our first time, but those plans were eventually sidelined. We'll try tomorrow. Stay tuned.

In the meantime, smoking (or grilling, or roasting, or crock-pot-ing) amazing pulled pork is definitely an imperative supermom skill. Here's the rub:

[No, literally, I'm giving you the recipe for the rub.]

Dry rub, Kansas City BBQ style

Adapted from Travis's Christmas present - the "Secrets to Smoking" cookbook

But I didn't have all the ingredients on hand so this is what I threw together.

1/4 cup white sugar

1/4 cup dark brown sugar

2 Tbsp. chili powder

2 Tbsp. sea salt (I found this in an Asian market where I used to shop - very coarse and slightly damp...? But don't be too picky with your salt. I'm sure any will work.)

1 Tbsp. smoked paprika

1 tsp black pepper

1 tsp garlic powder

1 tsp onion powder

1/4 tsp allspice

Mix all ingredients and store in an airtight container.

I just loved how this looked and smelled once it was all blended. I was tempted to use it for decorating. Rub it on whatever meat you plan to cook and let it soak in for as long as you can before cooking. Seriously you could do anything with this.

You will need the other recipes too. (Don't be alarmed by how scary these look in the pictures. Sometimes the ugliest food is the most delicious. Or so I regularly tell my children...)

Candied Acorn Squash

2 acorn squash

2 Tbsp. butter, melted

3 Tbsp. brown sugar or honey, whatever floats your boat

1/2 tsp. cinnamon

pinch ground nutmeg

pinch ground cloves

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Halve the acorn squash lengthwise and scoop out seeds and pulp with a spoon. Place cut sides down on a baking sheet and bake 20-25 min. Mix remaining ingredients in a small bowl while the squash is baking. Remove from oven and flip the halves over carefully. Pour the butter/sugar/spice mixture into the hollowed out squash, making sure to cover all the exposed flesh. Reduce oven temp to 350 degrees. Return squash to the oven for another 15 min or until glaze is candied (basically just take them out before they get seriously burned. You can't really mess this one up otherwise.)

The rolls came from my amazing famous published writer friend, Janet Sumner Johnson.

Janet's Rolls

3/4 cup warm milk

1/4 cup butter, melted

2 eggs

1/4 cup sugar

1 tsp salt

3 cups bread flour

1 Tbsp yeast

Put all ingredients, in this order, in bread machine set to "dough" setting. (Alternately, pour it all in your mixer. It's basically the same thing unless you are trying to do this in advance and come home to nearly-finished rolls!) Let dough rise 30-45 minutes. Roll into 18 rolls and place in pan (I use a glass 9x13 dish, but Janet only bakes her rolls spread out individually on a pizza stone! Also good!) Let rise for up to an hour - really however much time you have is good. Just make sure they're noticeably bigger than they were when you first shaped them. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 min. Immediately rub tops with butter after taking them out of the oven. Just trust me on that one.

***GOALS for the NEW YEAR***

1. Make my bed every day (we are one day into the new year and so far I am 0 for 1. Well I can only go up from here, right?!)
2. Organize my entire house (no seriously this is going to happen)
3. Finish what I start (no one said they couldn't be lofty goals...)
4. Train for a half marathon by myself in 12 weeks. (This one scares me. I've trained for and run a half marathon before, but certainly not by myself. My attention span is so short. I can scarcely run 3 miles alone without getting bored.) Wish me luck!!!

Winning

Today was less than awesome, though truthfully it seems that is the case more often than not these days. It involved hanging out with a cute hilarious toddler who does things like this:

And a, well, less cute and hilarious dog (what can I say? I'm still not a "dog person") who does things like eating non-food items (or at least non-dog-food items) that make her sick and defile my carpet. 

I don't handle feeling out of control very well. If I reach that tipping point, I tend to fly off the handle at anyone and everyone around me. That usually means my husband and kids, and it isn't pretty. It's actually kind of embarrassing. I go a little Mr. Hyde on everyone. That was the case tonight, as we found ourselves nearly an hour past bedtime and ankle deep in disaster. I roared, the kids rushed to bed, and 10-year-old Kate quietly slipped out of the fray to hand me a beautiful card she had made herself.

She said she was sorry I'd had a hard day, and even when I get angry it doesn't mean she loves me any less. She had taped a little key inside and told me it was a key to her diary. She wrote that when she gets a little older she wants me to read every page (and please not share anything!) That sweet little daughter of mine. I love her so much. So much trust and unconditional love that I don't deserve. She is everything I am not - patient and long-suffering and always considerate of others. I am grateful to have that counterpoint to my craziness. I thought my job and lifelong calling was to be a teacher, to guide and instruct all the children who came into my life. Who knew there was so much to be learned from children? And that's the tiny success I felt today, amidst the constant tripping and failing. This. This is winning.

How to Throw Together a Class Halloween Party

I'll be honest - Halloween is really just a lot of work, at pretty much the most inopportune time of the year. And who needs all that candy? I don't! Yet who can resist it? I can't! But we are not actual monster parents, and so therefore we must do Halloween. I helped throw my 3rd grade daughter's class Halloween party, which means I whipped out my one and only class party craft: painting blocks of wood that the kids can decorate in some sort of theme to fit the season (in the past, usually snowmen for the winter party). For Halloween: Frankenstein, mummies, and pumpkins. Every year I think I'll just pull this off, and every year I realize this is a TON of work for very little output.

I tried to simplify it this year by not letting the kids do any painting at all. I pre-painted all the blocks, drilled bolts into the sides of the Frankenstein blocks (that part is not shown, which is a shame because it was a lot of work), and cut out all the features in felt. I thought this was a great idea until the first boy who chose a pumpkin glued on his eyes, nose, and mouth. Um, done! It took probably 45 seconds...

 Some got very creative, though, and one even made a vampire somehow!

The other volunteer moms (I think 5 of us?) handled the treats and games. Really this was the most low-key party I've ever participated in, and requiring the least amount of communication between the party planners! Not that I'm averse to communicating or planning awesome huge parties, but I think we all just happened to be in the same place at the time, which is "generally overwhelmed." It worked for us!