Winning

Today was less than awesome, though truthfully it seems that is the case more often than not these days. It involved hanging out with a cute hilarious toddler who does things like this:

And a, well, less cute and hilarious dog (what can I say? I'm still not a "dog person") who does things like eating non-food items (or at least non-dog-food items) that make her sick and defile my carpet. 

I don't handle feeling out of control very well. If I reach that tipping point, I tend to fly off the handle at anyone and everyone around me. That usually means my husband and kids, and it isn't pretty. It's actually kind of embarrassing. I go a little Mr. Hyde on everyone. That was the case tonight, as we found ourselves nearly an hour past bedtime and ankle deep in disaster. I roared, the kids rushed to bed, and 10-year-old Kate quietly slipped out of the fray to hand me a beautiful card she had made herself.

She said she was sorry I'd had a hard day, and even when I get angry it doesn't mean she loves me any less. She had taped a little key inside and told me it was a key to her diary. She wrote that when she gets a little older she wants me to read every page (and please not share anything!) That sweet little daughter of mine. I love her so much. So much trust and unconditional love that I don't deserve. She is everything I am not - patient and long-suffering and always considerate of others. I am grateful to have that counterpoint to my craziness. I thought my job and lifelong calling was to be a teacher, to guide and instruct all the children who came into my life. Who knew there was so much to be learned from children? And that's the tiny success I felt today, amidst the constant tripping and failing. This. This is winning.